Friday, February 27, 2009

Mary Sue Gets Dressed

The opening scene of Essence of Angel takes place in the local roadhouse, present day. Vivianne is sitting at the bar. Let me show you what she is wearing:

She wore an extremely full gown of gunmetal grey silk. It looked so out-of-place at the bar. Probably ten meters of silk went into that skirt. But the bodice was low-cut, and the sleeves were long. Some of the hair was tied back out of her face, and the rest hung in long golden waves down her back.

Oh dear. And this is a person who, according to about ten chapters later, doesn't want to stand out?

She wore a grey sweatshirt and jeans. Her sandals seemed a bit light and
casual for April in Toronto, without even thick soles to insulate her feet
from the pavement, but at least they looked like the sort of thing she could
walk around in.

Much more believable.

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