Oh, my god.
Sometimes when I'm typing this stuff up, I come across something so unbelievably horrible I'm speechless. I seem to have created the most new-age Satan ever. I quote:
"Too bad the humans got the story of what happened so wrong,” Lucifer said. He moved on to another picture. It was the standard hellish torture scene – humans writhing, demons whipping, blood and pain and shit.
“I figured that was your doing,” Vivianne said. The story of Eden, not this
painting. Though it was well-done, too.
“I won’t argue. It could have been one of my minions,” Lucifer
said. “You don’t have a lot of fans down here.” He led her past another
painting, of a Hell on Earth. It might have been Hawaii, paradise being
destroyed by the fires of the deep. Humans usually caught the majesty of nature in this type of scene. Here, it was about Hell’s dominion over Earth. It was somewhat offensive, perhaps.
“All your work?” Vivianne asked.
“Oh, no,” Lucifer said. “I’m gifted with them all the time. As angels are
supposed to exist solely to give pleasure to god, so Demons apparently exist only to attempt to entertain me.”
“I thought demons were placed in the universe to try to take your job,”
“That, too,” Lucifer sighed. He walked along the row slowly so she could look at all the pictures. Many of them were portraits of him, and a lot of those weren’t terribly flattering. Hedidn’t seem terribly impressed by any of them.
The back of that Brandon Sanderson book had a link to his blog, where apparently you can read deleted scenes. This, I think, will be deleted, and stay that way.
Except I just put it on the internet, where it will live forever.