Skip to main content

Tense and POV

One of last month's short stories had some tense and POV problems. I might have intended to do it as first-person, but I started in third for some inexplicable reason, so there are spots in the first draft where I'd write something on scrap paper and integrate it later, and it wouldn't match.

Anyway, that was an obvious place to start the second draft, cleaning up the tense and POV. So I picked one. Changing the verb in every sentence and a noun in about half gets boring really fast, so I resorted to search-and-replace. "Jeremy said" and "said Jeremy" became "I say", which is reasonable. Then every other instance of "said". Then every instance of "was" became "is", but this was a problem because I apparently overused the word "wash" in this story, about 50 times or so it seems. I should have chosen "was " (with a space after it) to "is " I think. "They" became "we" and "were" became "are". I started searching for "ed" but that was too tedious because I couldn't just replace it with "e", "es", or nothing.

And then I started reading the story and it read sort of like something written by one of my beloved non-native Engish speaking colleagues, some of whom I think get text strings auto-translated. Does anyone know of a good list of words to search and replace for, and also what would be the best order?

Popular posts from this blog

Best TW feedback ever

Over at the dayjob, SMEs are feverishly trying to get documents back to me all marked up, in preparation for the release that's supposed to happen the week I'm back from VP. Today's best comment: Unfortunately not true. SMEs, they're so cute.

In progress: August 2024

Wind/Water/Salt  Chapters 39-51:   Still n eed to take up comments and revise.  Persephone  (probably not its real name): Continued to think thoughts.  Short Stories:   After posting that short story from last month onto the workshop, I picked one of those short stories I'd started and forced a plot onto it.  Critted  5  Got back  4 Submissions  0  Out there   0   Rejects   0 Knitting Cathar  (self). Started month with two inches done above the armholes. Listening to audiobooks, I finished the fair isle portion, cut the steeks, and set up and knit the neckline. Just the endless finishing now.   Blushing Cloud  (Knitty S/S24). Started the month with (still) three inches of back done. Socks take priority.  Elbrus socks (Knitty first fall 2024). Finished.  Elbrus socks II . Started the first.  Pole shorts  (Joan McGowan-Michael). I knitted these several years ago, but the...

Moraine

So a couple of days I thought I was done with this short story, and I wrote the last line of the story. I even dated it (that's how I can tell it's over). It was a little long, at 6600 words (I was aiming for 5000). But then I was walking to work, and I thought, "My, that was a lame ending. My endings are all crap." So yesterday morning, I scribbled out the date and wrote a bit more. And this morning I wrote a bit more again, and I dated it and called it done. And still, that ending seemed lame. So a few minutes later, in the last paragraph, I scratched out "the Oak Ridges Moraine" and wrote in "that stupid moraine". Much better. Now I can move on. But in the meantime, I was doing a little research about the Moraine, and I discovered that EGTourGuide lives on it. Only by one or two hundred feet, but I thought it was funny. Good for you, EGTourGuide, with all those excellent plants growing on that substandard soil, where in the olden days (you kno...